sometimes in life... actually many times in life, i wonder if it is only me or others also feel the same about "that which is precious".
i mean like, life always just throws you into a completely crapped up situation and when you manage to find something nice, you just cling to it because you fear to give it up. you fear that once you loosen your grip even a little bit, "that which is precious" will just slip out of your hands and never return again. after all, "that which is precious" is a comfort zone. one which offers sanctuary and solace for the faltering heart after all the battering that the world has done to that spirit.
definitely, everyone needs their own precious, but who's to say that that precious will not one day turn its back on you and just leave you in the cold, bitter world all on your own? who's to say that that precious will always be there for you, cover your back and not leave you just when you needed it the most?
that's the whole dilemma of getting something which is precious. you put all your faith and trust in it that it becomes an indispensable part of you and if it ever leaves you, the very definition of what your life is has to be reconsidered and your world comes crashing down. i have to say... the crappiest part of this whole thing is that no matter how much you care and cherish that which is precious, you never know if you are treasured in return or just chucked into the corner of ordinary things.
somehow, further along the line, another precious comes into your life and you doubt if you can ever clench so hard onto something anymore after all the harshness that life has shown you. you begin to doubt that life can ever be so perfect like you pictured it previously. you sway back and forth thinking and pondering if that new thing that just came into your life if just some ordinary thing or something precious; something worthy of your love and time. i mean... that's just human nature to minimize the damage done and to avoid being hurt all over again.
sometimes i just hope and hope that i can understand what the other party is thinking of... but i guess that i'll just have to resign to fate and have faith that everything will turn out well... after all, we only have one life. love like you've never been hurt, they say. sounds terrible, i know. but life's a gamble and you might just lose the most precious thing in your life if you don't for these opportunities are not always there for you...
in the end, will there be a happy ending for all that which is precious? i guess only time will tell...
Friday, May 20, 2011
Monday, May 24, 2010
the things i miss
one friend asked me to make a post of the things i missed in life. so here it goes.
looking back at life, there have been lots of gains and losses, trials and tribulations but at the end of the day, we just live life like there's no other... keep the good memories and leave the bad.
i miss the times when i was constantly dependent, always leaning, never standing on my own. because only then will you really know what's really yours and just what seems to be yours. i mean... its always nice to know there's always someone who can break your fall when you slip and fall back on when everything turns in on you.
i miss the sincere friendships that people used to have. it amuses me how pretentious people can get... and it amuses me even more how pretentious i have become, considering the fact that i always wore my heart on my sleeve before this. some people say... yeah... that's being a more matured person. but now i weep for the innocence i once had; smiling with teeth and not fangs, laughing with my heart and not an empty sound.
i miss the frequent outings
i miss the lame msn games
i miss the carefree life
i miss the days when i was driven around
i just miss the comfort of knowing that everything will be alright.
life has to go on anyhow. we cant change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand. so make every moment of your life count. =D
for the record, thanks to all those people who made my life worth living so far. thanks for being there, thanks for the beautiful memories.
looking back at life, there have been lots of gains and losses, trials and tribulations but at the end of the day, we just live life like there's no other... keep the good memories and leave the bad.
i miss the times when i was constantly dependent, always leaning, never standing on my own. because only then will you really know what's really yours and just what seems to be yours. i mean... its always nice to know there's always someone who can break your fall when you slip and fall back on when everything turns in on you.
i miss the sincere friendships that people used to have. it amuses me how pretentious people can get... and it amuses me even more how pretentious i have become, considering the fact that i always wore my heart on my sleeve before this. some people say... yeah... that's being a more matured person. but now i weep for the innocence i once had; smiling with teeth and not fangs, laughing with my heart and not an empty sound.
i miss the frequent outings
i miss the lame msn games
i miss the carefree life
i miss the days when i was driven around
i just miss the comfort of knowing that everything will be alright.
life has to go on anyhow. we cant change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand. so make every moment of your life count. =D
for the record, thanks to all those people who made my life worth living so far. thanks for being there, thanks for the beautiful memories.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
the phoenix
is arising from the ashes.
renewed energy, somehow to study and take on the world again. probably its the people around. who knows. lol.
momento mori they say. remember that you are mortal. and yeah. everytime a birthday comes up, i think of how quick life is catching up with me. and how im gonna be in the future, working with no life. sigh. or probably studying even more. whatever it is, other than the pot of shimmering gold i expect to see, i dont see any other fun coming with it. and wats more. wat am i actually going to do with a pot of gold if i ever get one? its not like i don have enough to get by, or that i have a lot of wants.
back to theory of interest!
renewed energy, somehow to study and take on the world again. probably its the people around. who knows. lol.
momento mori they say. remember that you are mortal. and yeah. everytime a birthday comes up, i think of how quick life is catching up with me. and how im gonna be in the future, working with no life. sigh. or probably studying even more. whatever it is, other than the pot of shimmering gold i expect to see, i dont see any other fun coming with it. and wats more. wat am i actually going to do with a pot of gold if i ever get one? its not like i don have enough to get by, or that i have a lot of wants.
back to theory of interest!
Monday, February 22, 2010
gong xi fa chai??
btw. the question mark there's not a typo.
something's missing this year. missing badly. maybe its the cousins i haven't seen in ages. maybe its because of uni life pressure.
"you with the sad eyes, don't be discouraged"
life's all just fine over here. but fine is the problem. i mean like whoever spends cny just fine? fml.
"the darkness still inside you make you feel so small"
seriously slacking in studies, i don't know where the hell to start. and here i am bloging, about how sucky cny has been.
don't get me wrong. friends are all good. been out quite a few times this whole week but the feel's just not there. sigh. what a waste.
"let them show... your true colours, are beautiful like a rainbow"
just found out that there is a crap test on the saturday i am supposed to go to the jenjarom temple. i guess i'll just have to settle for sri jayanthi or brickfields. btw. the crap test is at 430 in the evening. cant find the silver lining of this cloud. mahjong with the housemates perhaps?
cant say everything didnt go as good as i make it sound to be la. lol. i won about 40 bucks on mahjong so far this new year. beginner's luck i guess. lol.
ooh. i 4gt to say: ooh its been a while since i last posted and this is a long awaited one. bla bla bla. totally cliche everyone gets bored just looking at that sentence.
assignments and tests are fleeting here already. i guess i won't be updating anytime soon now.
p/s. jun told me that i shouldnt wish any1 sam seong si seng coz in mandrin it sounds like 'your income will be reduced to 40%' and chai yuen gwun gwun (or sth along those lines) coz it means ur gonna get fired. lol.
anyway, may your new year be better than mine. =)
hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and mine is hanging by a thread. i need a gwai yan now. lol.
something's missing this year. missing badly. maybe its the cousins i haven't seen in ages. maybe its because of uni life pressure.
"you with the sad eyes, don't be discouraged"
life's all just fine over here. but fine is the problem. i mean like whoever spends cny just fine? fml.
"the darkness still inside you make you feel so small"
seriously slacking in studies, i don't know where the hell to start. and here i am bloging, about how sucky cny has been.
don't get me wrong. friends are all good. been out quite a few times this whole week but the feel's just not there. sigh. what a waste.
"let them show... your true colours, are beautiful like a rainbow"
just found out that there is a crap test on the saturday i am supposed to go to the jenjarom temple. i guess i'll just have to settle for sri jayanthi or brickfields. btw. the crap test is at 430 in the evening. cant find the silver lining of this cloud. mahjong with the housemates perhaps?
cant say everything didnt go as good as i make it sound to be la. lol. i won about 40 bucks on mahjong so far this new year. beginner's luck i guess. lol.
ooh. i 4gt to say: ooh its been a while since i last posted and this is a long awaited one. bla bla bla. totally cliche everyone gets bored just looking at that sentence.
assignments and tests are fleeting here already. i guess i won't be updating anytime soon now.
p/s. jun told me that i shouldnt wish any1 sam seong si seng coz in mandrin it sounds like 'your income will be reduced to 40%' and chai yuen gwun gwun (or sth along those lines) coz it means ur gonna get fired. lol.
anyway, may your new year be better than mine. =)
hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and mine is hanging by a thread. i need a gwai yan now. lol.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
of sticks and stones...
i dont know why i choose this title. lol. just felt like it.
by the way. just so every1 shuld know, yours trully had just finished his exams and is currently enjoying his semester break before the next semester starts on 19th october. so thats 2.5 weeks of holidays before i hit the books again. so ppl... i was thinking of a sec scl gathering sometime soon before stpm starts. watch surrogate maybe? or pandorum?
recapping the whole semester. definitely lots of things happened during these brief 3 months... gained friends, lost friends. probably aqcuaintances i should say? but that would be an understatement. so much so that it would befit the title ... the understatement. lol. forget my crapping. lol.
so... going back, this semester has been okay i guess. studies are okay. like staying out it definitely an experience. an interesting and to a certain extent lucrative one also. erm... but i wouldnt say its been like a wow experience and that its so valuable as exposure for when i get my own house... the oni thing i've probably consciously learnt is how to use the washing machine and that almost everything under the sun can be goggled. ranged from googling how to make chicken murtabak to googling for to take off my contact lens (yes, i was that pathetic). lol. probably also picked up a bit of exercising la i guess. i think during these 3 months of living at the condo, i've exercised more than i've done compared to the other times of the year. and not that i did a lot also. lol.
also learnt that you should never expect much from things that already showed its true colours to you. you'll end up dissappointed. i know i did. period.
p/s. robin hood is a fucking bastard. and im running to catch a show now. so i'll probably update more later la...
by the way. just so every1 shuld know, yours trully had just finished his exams and is currently enjoying his semester break before the next semester starts on 19th october. so thats 2.5 weeks of holidays before i hit the books again. so ppl... i was thinking of a sec scl gathering sometime soon before stpm starts. watch surrogate maybe? or pandorum?
recapping the whole semester. definitely lots of things happened during these brief 3 months... gained friends, lost friends. probably aqcuaintances i should say? but that would be an understatement. so much so that it would befit the title ... the understatement. lol. forget my crapping. lol.
so... going back, this semester has been okay i guess. studies are okay. like staying out it definitely an experience. an interesting and to a certain extent lucrative one also. erm... but i wouldnt say its been like a wow experience and that its so valuable as exposure for when i get my own house... the oni thing i've probably consciously learnt is how to use the washing machine and that almost everything under the sun can be goggled. ranged from googling how to make chicken murtabak to googling for to take off my contact lens (yes, i was that pathetic). lol. probably also picked up a bit of exercising la i guess. i think during these 3 months of living at the condo, i've exercised more than i've done compared to the other times of the year. and not that i did a lot also. lol.
also learnt that you should never expect much from things that already showed its true colours to you. you'll end up dissappointed. i know i did. period.
p/s. robin hood is a fucking bastard. and im running to catch a show now. so i'll probably update more later la...
Sunday, August 30, 2009
skeletons in the closet
when you do sth wrong or sth u dun feel proud of what to u do??
some ppl face it bravely, i dont. i chuck it under the rug and hope that while i forget it, it also forgets me. chicken rite. yeah. i know. but thats the only way of "solving" things i know well enough to carry out.
i try not to talk abt it, tell as few people as possible, and even if it creeps out the corner of my mind, treat as if its not there. nevertheless, i'll face it headstrong if in any case, i am forced to have to face it.
but somehow, i come to learn a few things.
... all problems can be solved given enough time and money.
... problems may have permanent effects on people, and since its pemanent, we just have to live our lives to the best that we can.
... even if you pretend the problem doesnt exist, learn from it so that it never ever happens again. if the problem can be hidden, be thankful that the whole world doesnt have to know and be thankful that you can learn from your mistake before it gets too late. if the problem cant be hidden, just live with it because nothing can be done. laugh at it(even if you have to force yourself) or watever, just dont dwell on it coz things wont get better that way.
... when you face any problems, even if it seems like a mountain in front of you and you cant solve it, take it a step at a time. just work towards making your life better coz wats the worse that can happen?? your life cant get any shittier than it already is rite? haha... and yeah. obviously solve the most important problems first and if you still fail, you've tried your best... and remember again, given enough money and time, any problem can be solved.
anyway... thats the few important things i learnt from problems. i know some / many people may disagree with what i think or how i handle my problems. but im just saying, this is how i do it...
some ppl face it bravely, i dont. i chuck it under the rug and hope that while i forget it, it also forgets me. chicken rite. yeah. i know. but thats the only way of "solving" things i know well enough to carry out.
i try not to talk abt it, tell as few people as possible, and even if it creeps out the corner of my mind, treat as if its not there. nevertheless, i'll face it headstrong if in any case, i am forced to have to face it.
but somehow, i come to learn a few things.
... all problems can be solved given enough time and money.
... problems may have permanent effects on people, and since its pemanent, we just have to live our lives to the best that we can.
... even if you pretend the problem doesnt exist, learn from it so that it never ever happens again. if the problem can be hidden, be thankful that the whole world doesnt have to know and be thankful that you can learn from your mistake before it gets too late. if the problem cant be hidden, just live with it because nothing can be done. laugh at it(even if you have to force yourself) or watever, just dont dwell on it coz things wont get better that way.
... when you face any problems, even if it seems like a mountain in front of you and you cant solve it, take it a step at a time. just work towards making your life better coz wats the worse that can happen?? your life cant get any shittier than it already is rite? haha... and yeah. obviously solve the most important problems first and if you still fail, you've tried your best... and remember again, given enough money and time, any problem can be solved.
anyway... thats the few important things i learnt from problems. i know some / many people may disagree with what i think or how i handle my problems. but im just saying, this is how i do it...
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
its been ages eh...
seriously been ages since my last update and i must say... a terrible whole lot has happened in this period of time... where to start eh...???
generally, uni life has gotten very very very much more busy. i mean like freaking assignments and tests are like lining up the whole week. as it is, i hav one test this friday, 1 test this saturday, 1 assignment to pass up on monday and another on tuesday. talk about hectic eh..
and yeah friday night outings... every friday i go back home, i look forward to midnite outings. its almost been like 2 months that every friday nite the ho brothers, my sis and i will go out for a movie... then for supper. mostly at murni. haha... yeah... the 1 at ss2... earliest time returning home:2.30 in the morning coz my mum gave me the curfew.
btw my laptop got scwered for abt 2 weeks adi. i wondered how i cud survive this period. no more dota with the hsemates, no internet, practically no life. thanks to sunny who lends me his computer and kar wai downloading songs for me to spam. (ooh yeah... the ONLY song i've been listening to for abt a week nw... taylor swift... you belong with me)
i have something i want to say.
"...now, in helpless moments, i think of you, a figure forgotten in hours not of need, but a comforter of the past..."
fyi, no1 likes to be a mere figure to any1 or anything... despite everything thats happened... i'd let what happened happen, and not be sentimental. i could care less abt what i had invested so far. and so yeah. i've preactically given up hope on what i've to say, and its too late to change anything, coz im indifferent nw. i'm not gonna be any1's back up plan anymore... go figure.
till my next post... bah bai...=)
p/s. thanks for reading, whoever read the whole post. sorry for the dryness tho.
generally, uni life has gotten very very very much more busy. i mean like freaking assignments and tests are like lining up the whole week. as it is, i hav one test this friday, 1 test this saturday, 1 assignment to pass up on monday and another on tuesday. talk about hectic eh..
and yeah friday night outings... every friday i go back home, i look forward to midnite outings. its almost been like 2 months that every friday nite the ho brothers, my sis and i will go out for a movie... then for supper. mostly at murni. haha... yeah... the 1 at ss2... earliest time returning home:2.30 in the morning coz my mum gave me the curfew.
btw my laptop got scwered for abt 2 weeks adi. i wondered how i cud survive this period. no more dota with the hsemates, no internet, practically no life. thanks to sunny who lends me his computer and kar wai downloading songs for me to spam. (ooh yeah... the ONLY song i've been listening to for abt a week nw... taylor swift... you belong with me)
i have something i want to say.
"...now, in helpless moments, i think of you, a figure forgotten in hours not of need, but a comforter of the past..."
fyi, no1 likes to be a mere figure to any1 or anything... despite everything thats happened... i'd let what happened happen, and not be sentimental. i could care less abt what i had invested so far. and so yeah. i've preactically given up hope on what i've to say, and its too late to change anything, coz im indifferent nw. i'm not gonna be any1's back up plan anymore... go figure.
till my next post... bah bai...=)
p/s. thanks for reading, whoever read the whole post. sorry for the dryness tho.
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